Toxic

We forget ourselves when we fall in love.

Lost in the first touch, all we can do is believe the lover we've chosen

feels just as deeply about us,

as we do about them...

We maneuver through blurred senses and allow all logic to be kicked out the door.

Nothing else matters but our love.

And why wouldn't it?

But when it's toxic,

We attract one who mirrors back to us our inner spider web of lies.

The part of ourselves we've hidden behind the black eyeliner, leather, chains,

and above all else our obsession with pain, death, rebirth, and not to mention heavy metal.

As if on cue,

both parties close off when the triggering chess pieces come into play...

Denying all affections that once came so easily, but now feel like a dead weight around one's soul.

A dead weight pushing angrily at unseen memories that beg and plead to be seen.

So we run.

refusing our heart's desire to process with the other in a healthy way.

We lie.

escaping to the nightlife, we patch our empty spaces with more emptiness,

returning home to forget and fill up with the infamous, one-night stand.

We wake up only to stare at ourselves in the mirror.

Large tears fall into the sink as our hands find the mirror to lean against,

and we say out loud every single word that we so desperately

want to communicate to the one we left.

Allowing our soul to release one tortured chess piece at a time,

we see ourselves with new eyes.

Realizing it was the person looking back at us all along.

I had been the toxic one and I had caused the same pain that I was running from.

~ FireBird

Toxic © 2024 by FireBird is licensed under CC BY-ND 4.0

Photo by Ivan Babydov